Thursday, May 1, 2008

Going Green Early


What is less expensive than taking your one year old to Chuck E Cheese to play in the ball pit? Let her climb into the recycling bin in your kitchen pantry. Syd absolutely loves playing in the bottles. Its a huge mess, but she's so cute, we can't help but let her do it.

Premiere has gone green as well. We now have 'green' eContracts. Rather than a lot of printing, signing and faxing, you can now sign offers electronically. Add that in with thousands of contracts annually, and you save a lot of paper (not to mention time and money). Not too bad!

BRIAN SOLVES THE WORLD CUP OFFICIATING PROBLEMS

7/6/06 BRIAN SOLVES THE WORLD CUP OFFICIATING PROBLEMS

I'd never really watched much soccer before this World Cup, it's actually very entertaining. I know many of you may not have much of a background in soccer,

or 'futbol', as its called, so I thought I'd put together this brief tutorial for you. In the World Cup, each country gets together its very best, highly-talented and skilled male models to play against another country's male models. It doesn't matter the country- Portugal, Ghana, Brazil, England- they all come straight out of an Abercrombie & Fitch catalog. David Beckham is the rule, not the exception. It's a little know fact here in the States, but the entrance to the field from the locker rooms is actually a catwalk, which the players traverse after watching Zoolander to get pumped up for the match.

It's very important to be good-looking, because the most important skill- more important even than running, kicking, or even breathing- is getting sympathy from the refs. I've not yet seen a World Cup match that wasn't in some part decided by the officials making a bad call. What happens is, a player from team A runs within 10 to 15 feet of a player from team B, trips on thin air, then writhes in pain and desperate agony on the ground with his hands covering his face. ("Oh, no, we can't see the pretty man's face!" yells the crowd.) The referee then crosses the field to where the player from team B is standing, and holds up either a yellow card or a red card, depending on how wide the grimace is of the player from team A. The player from team A was inevitably 'attacked' near his opponent's goal, so he gets a free kick from within 3 feet of the helpless goalie. It's amazing how the game works. But its not really the players' faults. They have to act this way, because if they don't, the other team will, and they'll end up getting blown out by devastatingly one-sided scores like 2-0. However, I do have a solution to this problem, and I'm going to send it on to soccer's governing body of FIFA (complete name: FI-FA-FO-FUM). Instead of just having yellow and red cards, the refs can also have a blue, water colored "cry-me-a-river" card. After a player flops, the ref can run up to him, shove the blue card in his face, and tell him in his language of choice to stop being a cry-baby. After a player receives 3 blue cards, he is forced to grow a pencil-thin mustache, which will invariably make him less good-looking (except in France), therefore limiting his ability to get endorsement deals from Adidas.

I'm actually going to wear my France shirt on Friday, just to upset another agent in our office, Taylor, who is very much against the French team. Why? He went to Auburn, and since they pretty much haven't won anything in forever, he's pretty much anti-everyone else. Maybe he thinks France is the Crimson Tide of Europe. Anyway, the World Cup Final on Sunday is pretty much a win-win for me. My wife and I went to Paris for our anniversary, and I speak a little French, so I'm happy if they win. My wife is Italian, so we're also very happy if they win. The other cool fact is they if Italy wins, there's a silver lining for the US team. The only team that has played Italy and didn't lose to them, is the US. So we got that going for us, which is nice.

WHEN NOT TO LISTEN TO MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKERS

6/27/06 WHEN NOT TO LISTEN TO MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKERS

Due to several consecutive rain-outs, our church league softball team was forced to play back to back to back to back make-up games this past Saturday in 85 degree heat with no breaks. We'd just lost the third game by a heart-breaking 22-21 tally, and were emotionally and physically exhausted. We clearly didn't want to be there, and the other team opened up a commanding 16-0 lead. Now, I had just recently finished reading Stephen Mansfield's book on one of history's greatest motivators, Winston Churchill, with the "Never, never, never, never give up!" quotation still ringing in my ears. That's great for defending your homeland and all, but as it turns out, not so great for recreational softball. I hit the ball into the outfield, and, rounding first, I saw that I had a chance to stretch a single into a double. As I slid into second, my first thought was "Safe!" My second thought was "#&#^@$#*@*(!!!!." The second baseman had missed the relay throw from the outfield and it hit me at high speed directly on the corner of my jaw. After two doctors visits and multiple x-rays, I found I had two fractures and had to get my jaw wired together yesterday.

It has been suggested that I try to use this wired-shut jaw thing to gain sympathy from clients. But if you think about it, I only have to deal with this dilemma for three weeks, whereas the Dallas Maverick fans in our office, Shawn and David, have to deal with their problems for an entire off-season. So far, I think the sympathy ploy is working for them.

DAVID (sobbing): I really thought Dirk and the Mavs had it this year. (sniffle) I really did.

CLIENT: Oh, you poor boy. Let me book a speaker from you. And I'll FedEx over some hot cocoa, too.

I think the biggest thing I'll miss for these three weeks will be my favorite game with my 10 month old daughter. I'll go to the other side of the living room, lie on the floor, and play dead. She'll crawl across the floor as fast as she can and then pounce on my head with a belly flop. Hopefully she won't have grown out of that by the time she's 11 months old.

One big plus is that with an all liquid diet, I'll probably lose some weight. I'm saying the over-under is 7 pounds, but my wife is thinking 17. 17 pounds in 21 days? She also thinks I'll get my 6-pack back, which has not been seen since the Cincinnati Reds last made the playoffs. The 6-pack still exists, mind you, its just been cleverly hidden behind a thick layer of Chick-fil-a waffle fries, sweet tea, and Sonic breakfast burritos.

I'll be back in tomorrow, but if you call me between now and July 17, forgive me for mumbling!

The Spelling Bee Story

6/16/06 SCRIPPS HAS NOTHING ON ME

I am amazed that the Scripps Howard National Spelling Bee was recently televised on live, national, prime-time television, and that more than 10 people tuned in to watch. So, I figure that if that event is interesting enough to keep ABC from airing the pilot episode of “Lost” for the 43rd time, the story of my own spelling bee experience could warrant a blog.

Back in the mists of time, I was a 4th grader at Kokomo Christian School without too much interest in the academic side of things. Now don’t get me wrong, I did love learning things. Its just that I wasn’t that competitive with grades and such. In Christian schools, you basically have three kinds of kids- ‘normal’, which I felt myself to be; ‘trouble makers’, whose parents sent them there trying to reform them; and finally, ‘highly serious achievers’, kids whose grades were the end-all be-all of their existence. I say ‘kids’ in an attempt to be general, but they were in fact all girls. Not a single self respecting guy would be caught dead trying to be smart. As you can imagine, we all thought one of those girls would be the designated representative for our school at the Indiana State Spelling Bee.

To choose the winner, our teacher devised a two part test. First, there was the written test. Any of several hundred possible words would be read by the teacher from the front of the class, and the students would write them down. Anyone who got 80% and were in the top six would qualify for the second round. I remember I was sixth, with a 79.6%, which rounded up to 80, thereby just qualifying me to make it into the second round. The scores from the first, or written round, would be averaged with the second, oral round.

My competition in said round was very stiff. Among the five girls- and I’ll change their names so you can’t look them up in a phone book and then go taunt them, but so they can still recognize themselves should they by some amazing chance now be a corporate speaker or meeting planner- were some of the toughest spellers the greater Howard County area has ever produced. There was Kristin Schmydt, who worked so diligently and seriously she may have only spoken out loud maybe three times in the six years I knew her. Also among those wishing to take the crown was Stephanie Hule, who was nice and all, but seriously, who needs to wear their Brownie outfit like three times a week? And finally, the prohibitive favorite, Michelle Wilton. She prided herself on her tightly braided blonde hair in addition to her grades, and I remember her crying once when she only got 19 out of 20 on one of our regular weekly spelling tests.

The odds were not in favor of the young Brian, especially since it wasn’t just who would win the oral competition, it was the average of the two scores. I’d have to do so well, and they so poorly, that it would outweigh the 100’s the girls had gotten on the written test.

(EDITORS NOTE: Wouldn’t you have to be a pretty sad person if one of your Glory Days was a 4th grade spelling bee?)

(AUTHORS NOTE: Just be quiet. You try coming up with a new blog idea every week.)

And so the oral quiz began. The six of us were sitting in chairs at the front, with the teacher standing to the side, reading off the word for us to spell. The first words were always really easy ones, all answered correctly, but then something strange began to happen. The trouble-makers started taunting the contestants. The teacher quieted them down, but it opened the door on my first break. One of the girls actually missed a question. Then the rest of the boys (only boys made up the trouble makers) realized that I was the only boy up there, and began to cheer whenever it came around to me. Well, encouragement is something they, well, encourage in a Christian school, so the teacher couldn’t very well stop them. Suddenly the ‘highly serious achievers’ realized no one was cheering for them (after all, all the highly serious achievers were up front competing), and began to wilt under the pressure. They started to miss words rigt and lefft. Our classmates started to really get into it, inching their chairs forward, laughing, cheering, clapping. So far I'd only missed one word. The teacher paused to tally up the scores before starting the final round. The suspense in the room was palpable. Without revealing the scores, she started giving each of us our final word to spell. One by one, the girls misspelled their last words. It was ladies first, so the very last word to be attempted was by me. The teacher paused, then said, “I’ve tallied up the scores, and if Brian gets this, he wins.” She might have been subtly trying to unnerve me, because like any good teacher, I’m sure she wanted someone who actually cared about spelling and studied to represent the school at state. She would not be so lucky. She read the last word, which was a relatively little known book of the Bible at the end of the Old Testament, pronounced “NAY-hoom”. “N…” I started. A hush fell over my classmates. “A…H…U…” The crowd (or soon to be mob) was silent. “…M.” Everyone looked expectantly at the teacher, but I already knew what she was about to say. “That’s correct," she said. It was all over.

All the boys rushed up and there was general pandemonium (P-A-N-D-E-M-O-N-I-U-M, pandemonium). I was surrounded, so I couldn’t see if Michelle was crying or if Stephanie was fidgeting in her Brownie outfit, but I’m sure Kristin was being very quiet. All I knew was that I had just won what was likely the most dramatic comeback in KCS spelling bee history.

The trip to Indianapolis for the State Championship was rather anti-climactic. I was surrounded by 95% girls, of whom 100% wore plaid or floral print dresses. I was one of the few people who weren’t carrying around their own well-worn dictionary. The preliminary rounds were conducted in cramped classrooms, where mini-spelling bees were conducted, and you were moved into ever-larger and larger classrooms. It was single elimination, so the furthest I got was a closet. The word I missed? “Tomb.” How lame is that? We left for the long drive home well before it ever got to the auditorium for the finals. I was happy to have at least gotten out of a day of school.

This experience gave me confidence, and my above-mediocre ability to spell has served me well in my current position, as there are a lot of speakers with tough names- Peter Ricchuiti, Tony Alessandra, Vince Papale, Mike Eruzione, etc. I guess it was good for sumthing!

MR. LORD GOES TO WASHINGTON


6/1/06 MR. LORD GOES TO WASHINGTON

There are some perks of working at this job. A guy in our office, Frank, occasionally helps out with White House events, and I was able to use his extra seat at a Kenny Chesney concert for the President in the East Room of the White House. The concert was great, and I think you can even see a photo of it and me on the White House website (http://www.whitehouse.gov/news/releases/2006/05/20060516-11.html). Prior to the concert, Frank and I found ourselves in line to shake hands with the President.

There's a time to give a sales pitch, and there's a time not to give a sales pitch. Being in a receiving line with President George W. Bush, Prime Minister Howard, and the First Ladies of the United States and Australia is a time not to be a sales guy. My plan was to simply say "Its a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Prime Minister. It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. President," and move on.

As Frank and I get closer, I see Prime Minister Howard standing there and chatting, holding a tea cup, saucer and spoon, taking a sip from time to time. He's not quite a tall fellow, possibly 5'7 or 5'8, with a ring of white hair, and glasses, looking every bit like your old favorite univerisity professor. He looks at me, and since I'm a good 20 years younger than the average guest (50s-60s), assumes I must be a White House staffer.

"Nice to meet you, Mr. Prime Minister," I say, and start to shuffle the next two feet over toward Bush.

"Yes," he replies, and surprises me by asking over his tea cup, eyebrows raised, "So, in what part of the White House do you work?"

"Uh, actually, sir, I work for a company called Premiere Speakers Bureau. We book business speakers and leaders for corporate events." I felt that was very to-the-point and not at all ‘salesy’.

President Bush gets a grin on his face and says loudly "That means he's trolling for people like you!" while shaking my hand.

Frank is standing behind me and trying not to laugh at my having just been made fun of by the President. What was even funnier to me is that at that moment, President Bush's body language was exactly like my dad's after he thinks he's said something particularly funny- big grin with lips pressed together, eyes sort of half closed, kind of nodding as he silently chuckled to himself. It made me feel a bit at home in the White House that the Harvard-Yale educated, most powerful man in the world was acting just like my Indiana farmer/truck driver dad. Had he added on a good "I reckon", I would have instinctively asked to borrow the car for a date Friday night.

But the dessert and concert were great, and a good time was had by all.

COWBOYS VS. THE POWER OF THE SUN

6/8/06 COWBOYS VS. THE POWER OF THE SUN

Tonight begins the battle for supremacy in the NBA, between the Dallas Mavericks and Miami Heat. I think we can look at this scientifically, and come up with some answers as to who I should pick to win. First, how many clients will I offend by picking the Mavericks, and how many will I offend by picking the Heat? I can easily say that we have more events that take place in Florida, with Orlando, Miami, Naples, etc, being some of the biggest event destinations in the world. However, there are at ton big companies located in Texas, so we can't upset them, either. Also, we have speakers on both sides. Former Maverick Walter Bond (http://www.premierespeakers.com/walter_bond), and Heat Coach and President, Pat Riley (http://www.premierespeakers.com/pat_riley) are both in the Premiere fold. I've been booking Riley since I first got here, but with Riley's in-season commitments cutting into his speaking time, I now book Bond more. We must be careful about who we favor.

Actually, who cares about ruffling feathers, I'm going with Miami in six. Take that, Shawn Hanks and David Loy, your beloved Mavs are going down! Cuban did graduate from my mom's alma-mater, Indiana University, I've always liked Avery Johnson, and a guy on my softball team looks like a 5'10 Nowitzki. But the Heat are going to take it to them. I'll even give you the order of who will win what games- Heat, Mavs, Heat, Heat, Mavs last gasp win in game 5, then Heat close it out in Dallas, 95-86. Peyton shuts down Jason Terry a good part of the time, D-Wade will get his, and the suspension of Mav's back-up center DJ Mbenga will show up huge, as Diop and Dampier repeatedly get into foul trouble guarding Shaq. Finals MVP? That's a tough one, but I'll say Shaq. It'll be close between him and D-Wade, but since voters will feel that Shaq doesn't have as many shots left at this, they go with him. Lets get ready to celebrate on the 20th! To read a much funnier Finals pick, read my all-time favorite sports writer Bill Simmons at (http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/060608)

Email your picks to me at brian@premierespeakers.com

OLYMPIC TRAINING

5/8/06 OLYMPIC TRAINING

As I've mentioned before, when I took this job at Premiere, I wanted to approach as a way to get my unofficial Ph D. in Knowing Stuff.

I realized I had this opportunity to learn from some of the greatest thought leaders, writers, authors, motivators, and athletes in the world, and I wanted to take full advantage of it.

One such opportunity has been getting to know 2 time Olympian and world record holding downhill skier Cary Mullen. Being a young guy (37?) who is great at accomplishing goals despite being an underdog, the majority of his speeches are to companies who want to get their bright, young sales people and leaders to the next level. I figured maybe I fit into that category, so why not take advantage of some time with Cary? It turned out to be a great experience for me. I was able to go through with Cary step-by-step process of setting goals, the mental focus needed, why it worked for his team, and how I could apply it. So now if I get a bit off kilter in my goals, I can remember my "Big Worthy Target", and get focused again.

Don't forget that you as an event planner can take advantage of this kind of thing as well. I know there's a good chance that you're going to have to run around getting last minute hotel rooms while your speaker is going on, but try to catch as much as you can. We can all get better!

To learn more about Cary and watch his video, click here: http://www.premierespeakers.com/cary_mullen